| Thursday, August 18th, 2005 |
| 6:12 pm |
Venting...
Seriously why the fuck would a guy ask for a phone number if they don't plan to call? It's so fucking stupid...how hard is it to just not ask for it if you have no intentions of calling the person. Or, if you are too scared to call the person get over it and fucking call them, you asked for their number for a reason so just fucking call and get it over with! I have listened to my friends talk about this and it has happened to me. I am becoming so sick of hearing about my friends being upset(I don't like seeing them hurt) because a guy they liked asked for their number and never used it. I know just how much it can upset a person to have this happen. Yes I am sure the same thing happens to guys. I just recently had this happen to me..hance the venting and I am right now thinking to myself that he lost my phone number, at least that way I don't really have to think about the real reason... Current Mood:  aggravated |
| Thursday, August 11th, 2005 |
| 9:25 pm |
Been A While
Wow...I just noticed that I haven't used LJ in a long time....5 months or so. Well for one thing I am done school, but doing my co-op. My last semester of classes was crazy...always in the clinic...for surgery, dentistry or anesthesia. I had way too many tests and assignments, seemed I never had free time. Now I am busy working at my co-op...always working late. Oh well its more money. The Tech left where I am doing my co-op and I was offered the position, after much thought I decided to take the job. Next Wednesday I have my G2 exit test and if I pass......I also got a cell phone...yeah! People can finally get a hold of me, well when I'm not at work. My two good friends and I have started going out every tuesday to skool for $2.50 beers. It works out great for my schedule seeing as I am off on Wednesdays.. Current Mood:  thoughtful |
| Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005 |
| 11:03 am |
Blah Blah Blah and more Blah
Well I took my dog to school with me to have a dentistry done...she ended up having 17 teeth extracted. Poor Kiwi I feel so bad....luckily she is on some very good pain meds so she won't feel any pain...I hope I only have seven weeks of school left....I can't wait to be done. This week is going along good...no tests! Wow a week without any tests...this never happens! I am hoping to make it done to Toronto this summer and hopefully get to see everyone which would be awesome. It will also be nice to be out of all this small town crap and in to a busy city...'civilizaton' as I like to call it. It will be nice to go out to a bar or club and it not be country music. There are a lot of good bars at Blue Mountian, but it is really expensive there. I guess prices don't really matter to me seeing as I have decided not to drink anymore and yes this time I mean it. I haven't felt like drinking at all since my b-day. I can find other ways to make the time pass. I really enjoy going to Jozo's at Blue...it is people my age and it isn't full of a bunch of just legal or underage skanky girls, though I have heard that if you dance on the bar you get a free shot. My hair is once again black, but it has red streaks in it now...I missed the black hair.... Current Mood:  blank |
| Friday, February 18th, 2005 |
| 10:21 pm |
Well I need to do something about my life. Lately it has been going downhill.... I am just getting annoyed with a lot of things that have been happening over and over again. I don't know I have just being really depressed lately and it is making it hard to concentrate on school. I just want things to get better. I am almost done school...7 weeks left and I have to start thinking about what to do with the rest of my life(after I finish my co-op placement this summer). I have to figure out where I want to live...Toronto or stay here.. Well at least I have all summer to think about it. Current Mood:  depressed |
| Friday, February 4th, 2005 |
| 9:37 pm |
Wow...its been forever
I have been really busy with school and work lately. Finally I have time to do stuff. I am now into my final semester of school ever! Only 9 weeks left! I can't believe it is almost done, I am so happy, but at the same time kind of disappointed. I won't get to see all my friends from college as often once school is over....hopefully we will keep in touch. On the dating front...nothing as usual...yes I remain forever invisible to all except those in my program!!! Had a pretty stressful week...had quit a few rude remarks and a rather unpleasent convo with a teacher. Oh well its the weekend maybe the stress level will go down!! Current Mood:  stressed |
| Monday, September 27th, 2004 |
| 4:16 pm |
OK, yeah I said I would be coming to TO for the night on friday but unfortunately I could not get the Saturday off work......hopefully I can make it down in December.. Current Mood: disappointed |
| Thursday, September 23rd, 2004 |
| 6:46 pm |
Good news...hopefully
I might be coming to TO on friday october 1 for one night....Just thought I would put it here so ppl can see it Current Mood:  happy |
| Tuesday, September 14th, 2004 |
| 10:41 pm |
Final Year
Well I am now attending my final year of school to become a veterinary technician. I am getting annoyed with all the textbooks we have to buy...especailly the fact that we bought a $200 textbook book which we never used and had to get a $100 textbook to replace it. Is that not a nice to waste money? I have also joined our new fitness center and the school. Ah finally the abs may look good. I worked out today and did a circuit of all the machines they have there and wow do my arms ache. Oh well. I really dislike the fact that for the school year, well just during the week, I am living far away from my really good friend. Actually he is more then a friend, or at least I think of him that way. Every time I think about him, see him or talk to him I fall more and more for him. I don't know what he wants, but I do know that he thinks of me as more then a friend also. I don't know if I should talk to him about how I feel or not...Damnit this sucks.. Current Mood: blank |
| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004 |
| 9:01 pm |
Time
If time cannot be altered, or so it has been said....somewhere.....how can a minute seem like 2 hours, but at times an hour can seem like a second? How can a day go by fast for one person and slow for another if a minute is a minute and an hour is an hour no matter where or who you are? If you are with a friend and you are both doing the same thing how can that time go by fast for them, but slow for you? I don't get it... Current Mood: contemplative |
| 12:47 pm |
Finally the sit ups I have been doing are paying off :) I have been doing sit ups for every night the past two or three weeks and finally I can see some improvement. I still have work to do until I have some abs, but I think that I am almost there. I would have been swimmng laps in my pool also, but it has been to cold. What the fuck happened to summer? Current Mood:  determined |
| Tuesday, August 17th, 2004 |
| 11:10 pm |
Is there a point of going on?
Where to start? I don't see a point to anything I do in my life anymore. What the fuck is the point of waking up everyday just to know I'm going to feel the same crappy way as I did the day before and the day before that.... It seems like my family never wants me around, but why would that matter? Someone like me doesn't deserve anything good. It seems I can't go a day without getting in crap for something. It also seems that everytime something good is happening in my life it just goes away. Is there really a point of waking up each day if I feel depressed and empty and like total crap? Current Mood: depressed |
| Saturday, August 7th, 2004 |
| 6:51 pm |
Doomed To Be Alone Forever
Ok, so I have not been in the best of spirits this week...in fact I have been feeling like total crap. Everyone in my life seems to be drifting away, well the people here anyways. One of my best friends who I met through horseback riding wo't talk to me anymore because I wouldn't let her borrow my id. I don't care that she wants to drink under age and I know how hard it is to get alch when you aren't legal yet, but she shouldn't but totally ignoring me beacuse I didn't want to lend her my id. I don't want to risk having her get my id taken away. Well I head back to school in like 4 weeks...maybe things will be better then...I'm just sick of always feeling so alone and empty..... Current Mood: depressed |
| Sunday, July 25th, 2004 |
| 1:59 pm |
Drinking No More
I think that I have decided not to drink anymore...really right now I'm thinking what is the point to it? You feel like shit the next day...and you end up spending more money then intended at the bar and of course there are the parts of the night you don't remember(like whether you walked home or took a cab) So I have now decided(for the moment anyways) that drinking is stupid and a waste of money....I can go to the bar and not drink....that will still be fun(maybe) Current Mood:  accomplished |
| 1:52 pm |
Horseback Riding
Its weird everytime I have horseback riding when I am on my way there I don't want to go...I really don't get why this happens I love it. I love being with the horses and everything...I guess I dread it because for some reason I don't feel like I deserve to do something that makes me happy.....or maybe its because I have to spend money on it....but it is only $130/month or for 4 lessons...meh who knows...I guess I am just weird. Current Mood:  confused |
| Thursday, July 15th, 2004 |
| 6:29 pm |
Everything is being dragged down deeper
I talked to one of my friends from school today. She isnt going to be living with her boyfriend anymore for the school year so her and I are going to start looking for a place together. The thing that sucks is all the places I was thinking about early in the summer are now taken....damn they were really nice too. Hopefully we can find a place soon...we are running out of time. My mom said that they are probaly going to be giving me one of the vans for school. Guess I will be in TO a lot, or at least saturday nights... Today was really shitty at work...everyone seemed to be on my case and my boss yelled ay me for not filling out the cage cards after moving animals and cleaning their cages, meanwhile I didn't move any animals....all I did was get animals for him so he could treat them. Then later on in the day the tech said that she doesnt think I am learning enough because I dont ask a lot of questions. Really this is getting annoying. Its really nice to get bitched at all day at work and then come home and have my sister be a total bitch to me too....At least finding a roommate for school was one good thing that happened today. Current Mood: aggravated |
| Sunday, July 11th, 2004 |
| 10:47 pm |
back in "da'wood"
Toronto was ok this weekend, I had a good time but near as good of a time as I usually have. My cousin has changed so much....I guess thats what happens when you get engaged....I don't know...it was really weird being at her apartment...we barely hung out...I know she is engaged and totally in love with her man, but I am was visiting and I havent seen her in a year(yes I sound like a bitch)...I thought that we would have done more of the stuff we use to...I miss that a lot. I think another reason it wasn't as fun was because something is bothering me and has been for a long time...and it has been making me fairly depressed, which totally sucks... Now that I am back in c'wood I know that I want to move to Toronto when I am done school....and have money saved up... Current Mood: depressed |
| Sunday, June 27th, 2004 |
| 10:45 pm |
Today was my friend Scott's b-day so I went to his house and we had dinner, with his little bothers and two cousins...one which is rather good looking...after dinner we played basketball. I can't believe how good it made me feel after, I think I actually found a good motivation for working out. I finally started sit ups and push ups tonight...hopefully I will see improvement soon... Current Mood: accomplished |
| Saturday, June 26th, 2004 |
| 11:54 pm |
Well last night I hung out with Mark...and yes I still feel the same way about him as I did before. It was awsome hanging out with him again seeing as though the last time we hung out was early october..though I have run into him at the bar one or two times. I am confused about what is going on with him...like does he like me? or does he just like me as a "friend with benefits" kind of thing? That whole thing is so confusing. As great as having fun is I am not really wanting the whole friends with benefits thing right now. I am thinking that I would more like to be in a relationship...it would be nice to have someone in my life. I am not sure how I even go about figuring what it is that he wants to happen....damn guys can be so confusing sometimes. I wish I knew what the hell he wants or at least how to figure it out... Current Mood: confused |
| Thursday, June 24th, 2004 |
| 11:13 pm |
So Alone
I really hate this feeling of being alone. I feel as if I have no one in my live, sure I have friends, good friends, but friends just don't seem to be enough. I think there must be something wrong with me or I am doing something wrong to end up always being alone. Seems like nobody wants to be with me....guess I am destined to be alone forever...or at least it seems that way because that is the way it has always been Current Mood: depressed |
| Sunday, June 20th, 2004 |
| 12:08 am |
Something is missing
I was watching a movie tonight with two of my closest friends and was having fun, but as my friend was driving me home I came to a kind of realization something in my life is missing. It took me a while to figure out what I think it may be. I have great friends and always have fun when we hang, everything is going fine at home, I enjoy my co-op/job, I started horseback riding,I didn't realize how much I missed it until I rode again(and oh how my thighs ache today...damn those unworked muscles) and I am going to school achieve the dream I have always had of working as a vet tech. What I think is missing is that I don't have that "someone special" in my life, I'm not sure why I think this, but I think that it is because I have never really had "that someone special" in my life. I also find that I feel....lonely..or empty...a lot. I really don't get why I feel like this, if I ever figure it out it that would be awsome. I'm not going to go out and look for a guy..if it happens it happens...just wish more of my friends actually liked going to our shitty small town bars....come on ppl its something to do and hey its a way to meet ppl.... Current Mood: blank |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
soul_taker's journal